I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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