I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
