bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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