He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
