Umm I'm too high to move.
My friends, they love my intelligence
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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