No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
