I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
