glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
