If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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