I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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