If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Operation Purity has been aborted
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
