I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
