Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
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