I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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