Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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