Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I am available for nakedness
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
