is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
