I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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