Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
