I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
this will be a night to untag.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
