I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
