R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
her vagine was all disorganized.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
