Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So squirting runs in the family.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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