Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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