I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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