Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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