"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
