He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
