I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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