windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
