ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
