Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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