Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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