that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
