It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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