Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
