i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
