Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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