I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
