Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
