your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
