Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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