Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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