Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
