nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
