Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
