see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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