its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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