so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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