Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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